Do you hide things away in your mind?

Do you hide things away in your mind? Our programmer has sorted all our internal files in a way which only the two of you understand.  The things we like are easily accessible while the things we don’t like are put in a place that we seldom go, and there are files that are so secret that we’ve even forgotten about them, and there are files that need a special password to access.  In all probability parts of our child are in these files. inner child 3

The important thing to know is that our programmer arranges things the way they are so that we can function in the best way possible. What happens when we enter an altered state, is that this programmer is by-passed to some extent.

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If we reach an altered state via sleep, we could perhaps surmise that the programmer has left a junior person in charge, and some of the secret material gets out – but usually in coded form, and we experience it as dreams.  If we reach an altered state via meditation, we enter this state with the consent of the programmer.  We get to browse the files with the programmer watching carefully.  It may happen that our programmer dozes off briefly, and we get a glimpse of something in a secret file, but always the programmer is there either to censor or edit the material quite quickly, or to integrate the information in a harmless or better still, a useful way.  Still following this analogy, the process of learning to meditate can be compared to a process of gaining the trust of the programmer.  Slowly, little by little, the programmer allows us deeper and deeper into the secret files, and helps us to integrate what we have learned from there.

inner child

 

Another way to reach and altered state, and thereby access our inner child, is via hypnosis.  This is by far the quickest and most direct route.  The skilled practitioner lulls the programmer to a state sometimes mis-labelled as sleep, and allows us to access the secret files without having to de-code them.  What must be remembered about this state is that the programme still runs, so it is not as though there is instant access into every part of the system. The programme determines which files are nearest the surface, and which are more deeply hidden, and also which are filed together.  If anything goes wrong, and alarms start going off, the programmer returns to his or her post, and access to the system is denied.

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This analogy makes it clear that using altered state to access your inner child can be difficult or even traumatic, because a great deal of previously hidden information may surface, and if the programmer isn’t there to help integrate it, damage to the system can occur. Search diligently for the hypnotherapist that makes both you and your child feel comfortable.  When you find one, this method of working is greatly recommended, because you can make tremendous progress with the skilled help of another person.

Peace of Mind™ has a partner, and the Mnemodynamic Register website has a list of therapists trained in its own method, Mnemodynamic Therapy.

Mnemodynamic logo

Whichever way you make a connection with you inner child, give that child the most important message you can give any child.  Let that child know that you love him or her, and that he or she is not alone.  Wonderful and important as relationships are with other people in our lives, the one relationship that will always be with us is the relationship we have with ourselves.  We will always be there, and as we work towards making that relationship a positive one, whereby we love and honour and approve of ourselves, we will find that our lives will assume a new dimension, and we will begin to have a sense of the sun coming through the clouds after a very long, dark winter.

There are many things that will help you in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”.  Download chapter 1 free now!

Did looking at a picture of yourself ‘take you back’?

Did looking at a picture of yourself ‘take you back’ to that time?

Another powerful technique that Louise Hay recommends is to use a photograph of yourself as a child to try to re-connect with the part of you captured frozen in time in the picture.  The exercise below describes how to do this.  Ten to twenty minutes should help you get a long way …

Altered Awareness

You can reach your inner child is by altering your awareness – accessing the memory as it is stored.  This is a powerful and direct method, and in most cases is a journey we are advised to take only with the aid and support of someone professionally trained.

To explain why we say this, let us use an analogy that can be easily understood.  We can compare our minds/brains to a very complex computer system.  To run our computer selves properly, we employ a computer operator who is also a very skilled programmer.  Over time this individual has worked out the programme that we know as ourselves – the personality we show to the world and the way we feel inside.  Our programmer has been with us for a long time, and together we have figured out how this system works.

1. Find a photograph of yourself as a child.

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 2. Look carefully at the photograph, and try to connect with what you see.  If you have several photos of yourself as a child, better still.  Try to connect with the part of you that was frozen in time in each photo.

3. Another very powerful way to do a similar thing is to seat yourself in front of a mirror, and look deeply into your own eyes, and find the child hidden in there.

4. Talk to yourself while you do this.  Talking to your child, perhaps using something other than your present name, like a childhood nickname helps to initiate communication.  Speak to your inner child as if it were a real child. It helps if you had a nickname as a child.

5. Note what it feels like when you use a name like this.  For many of us there is some slight gut reaction, because a child nick-name is something that we “grew out of” and its use may well take us a little distance back to where we once were.  This is good, because it means that we are a little closer to communicating with our inner child.

6. Whether or not there was a nick-name, begin talking to your inner child as if he or she is a physical child.  Ask what the child would like to do, or what the child feels about any situation.  A particularly nurturing thing to do is to take some time – say a weekend, or a day, or even a few hours when external demands can be ignored, or at least minimised, and prepare your house as if a child was coming.  Take your child to the supermarket, and ask what type of food they would like in preparation for your ‘special time’ together.  Or plan an outing – something the child would really like.

7.Again ask the child what they would like to do – and as the loving parent of the child, do all you can to make it possible.  It may be something you’ve always wanted to do as a child, but were never allowed or able to do.  Give   yourself the treat.

There are many things that will help you in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”.  Download chapter 1 free now!

 

Louise Hay’s Drawing with your Inner Child

Louise Hay’s drawing with your Inner Child: my old (now late) teacher Peter Blythe would have called her method ‘drawing with your Unconscious Mind! Writing or drawing is one way of connecting with your inner child. Louise Hay (1991) recommends using your non-dominant hand to draw a picture.  This exercise provides you with an opportunity.  Five or ten minutes is enough to make a start!

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The inner child is very much associated with creativity, and has been related to the activity of the right half of the brain. It makes sense therefore to think that by accessing what is popularly called ‘the right brain’; we are coming closer to communicating with our inner child.  Louise Hay recommends using your non-dominant hand to draw a picture.

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If you allow yourself to do everything with your non-dominant hand, including the choice of colours, and just relax into the process, amazing insights can be achieved. Even more so if you can suspend judgement about the quality of the picture that emerges, remembering that it is a young child doing the drawing.

  1. Sit with your unlined paper pad on your knee in front of you. 
  2. Hold your pen or pencil in your non-dominant hand.
  3. Choose colours also with your non-dominant hand.
  4. Relax.
  5. Ask your inner child to draw a picture about a certain event in your life, and just allow it to happen.  You could ask your child to draw a picture of you, or to represent your life path – the things that happened to you, or a picture of your family, or the significant people in your life.
  6. Without looking at your paper, let your writing implement draw. 
  7. How are you doing? Amazing insights can be achieved.
  8. So much the better if you can suspend judgement about the quality of the drawing, remembering that it the young child from inside you doing the drawing.

If a physical child presented you with the drawing that you see emerging from beneath your hand, you would accept it without judgement. You would appreciate the skill of the child, given its age, and may even experience a sense of love in your heart.

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If you can have this sense of love for your inner child in your heart, the process of opening to yourself will proceed in leaps and bounds.  It may feel strange, or even a bit silly, especially at first, so you will probably want to be quite private when you do this. (In reaching for your inner child, don’t alienate your parent or adult – they are part of you too!) Notice if you feel any differently, or whether the way you feel is perhaps coming from a slightly different place within you.

  There are many things that will help you in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”.  Download chapter 1 free now!

Are you rather restrained? Learn to be playful again!

Are you rather restrained? Learn to be playful again!

I’ve mentioned Louise Hay before in a previous blog.  One of Louise Hay’s statements that I use as an antidote to my own negativity is “I choose to make my life light and easy and joyful  If you can learn to live life this was it is easier!  Now I am writing this blog some time after the original ‘Peace of Mind’ manuscript I can testify  that ‘easier’ has become EASY AND JOYFUL!! Yippee!!!

Louise Hay’s web-links are below: Your Body Is Asking for Help by Louise Hay – HealYourLife and

Louise L. Hay – Internationally renowned author and Hay ...

 Play is a powerful means of communicating with children, and we can apply it to the inner part of ourselves, our child part that lives inside us all as well.  How about a project in an expressive medium? : –

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 An Art based one on paper:

  • Drawing
  • Painting
  • Charcoal
  • felt-tips
  • pastels

drawing 1

Something which may take a little longer such as:

  • sewing
  • three dimensional collage work
  • clay work at a pottery class

sewing

How about selecting an ongoing project?  Spontaneous things can be very helpful:

  • sand play (this does amazing things for children)
  • digging in the dirt
  • gardening and is also very therapeutic, as any gardener will tell you

 gardening

Remember, the more structured and goal oriented the activity, the less the child part of you will be able to express itself spontaneously.  A short dig in a heap of soil or sand would also be most acceptable.

 There are many things that will help you in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”.  Download chapter 1 free now!

Have you sat on your playful self for years?

Have you sat on your playful self for years?

Communication

It seems both obvious and strange to suggest communicating with our inner child.  One way of doing this is by becoming aware of the little voice within, but if we have been spending a great deal of time denying our child, this may be quite difficult to do.

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Play is a powerful means of communicating with children, and we can apply it to our child as well.  Expressive media such as art – drawing or painting, sewing, three dimensional collage work, and so on, are obvious choices, as is clay, sculpting or sand play.  Playing with sand and in the sand does amazing things for children.  It’s no accident that some people have violent reactions to sand. Some people dislike sand because it’s ‘messy’, while others don’t like the texture.  Gardening and digging in the dirt is also very therapeutic, as any gardener will tell you, although the more structured and goal oriented the activity, the less the child will be able to express it self spontaneously.

sand 2

The inner child is very much associated with creativity, and has been related to the activity of the right half of the brain. It makes sense therefore to think that by accessing what is popularly called ‘the right brain’; we are coming closer to communicating with our inner child.

sand

There are many things that will help you in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”. Download chapter 1 free now!

Did you ever wonder what you had done wrong?

Did you ever wonder what you had done wrong?

Self Acceptance 

When we were children, and something went wrong, our natural response would have been to wonder what we had done wrong. This would have been true no matter what the situation.  If our parents had a fight, we would have felt responsible.

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We may have felt that the fault was because of something we did, or perhaps even just because we were ‘there’.  If the event or events for which we felt responsible was traumatic enough – if it had serious consequences, it may have become necessary to ‘punish’ ourselves (subconsciously) in the hope that things would go back to the way they were before.  At the very least we would have scolded ourselves for our bad behaviour, and this would have built into a pattern that we carried through to adulthood.

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As adults we continue to scold our child, and we can hear this if we listen to the number of times we send ourselves the negative messages that reinforce our poor sense of self – Ellis’ sentences that we repeat to ourselves over and over.

Responding to these negative messages is like responding to one of those radio signals scientists sent into space many years ago to make contact with intelligent life ‘out there’.  The source of the radio signals is no more ‘alive’ today than the messages we give ourselves.  The signals relate to a different time and a different reality, and all that makes them relevant to the present time is the fact that it is our child within that is responding.  If we use our adult creative intelligence to begin to see what we are doing and to understand the patterns of behaviour that hold us captive, we can accept those parts of ourselves that we previously rejected, and we can bring ourselves more into the present reality.

 There are many things that will help you in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”.  Download chapter 1 free now!