Do YOU feel social pressure? Following on from the last post, there is so much social pressure to grow up, marry and have a family. My accountant said that to me one day – there had been much pressure to the point of marriage and as soon as the wedding day was over he and his new wife were virtually ignored!
We don’t have much training in anything to do with relationships, person to person, or parent to child, if any. Only when things go wrong, do we get any help and then it’s usually in the form of telling us what we SHOULD be doing. The implication is that we are ‘last’, awful, must do better, are a failure, and so on. You may well’ve had that happen! For instance, being a parent for example, is a big commitment – 24 hours a day, for 18 years without much help from society. Being a worker in any job is a lifetime’s occupation for most of us. (See the “Gospel according to St. Dorothy” below. I hope it makes you smile!). Considering all this and the day to day trials and tribulations of work and family life, we are all doing incredibly well. Above all, right now, we are doing the best we know how. We all deserve a big pat on the back for all our good work we have done, and length of service we have done it over.
Usually this is unacknowledged. You may feel uncomfortable with this process of appreciation. It is normal to feel somewhat embarrassed and uncomfortable at appreciating ourselves and being appreciated by others, and it is OK to giggle or get a little hot around the collar. This is a normal process of releasing ourselves from the feeling that we are not good enough. I found the following in an office near Blackburn Lancashire. It made me smile so I asked permission to reproduce it.
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SAINT DOROTHY
- Thou shalt be at thy desk at 8.58 a.m. precisely.
- Thou shalt not move from thy designated area of labour during the “working day” despite flood, war, famine, pestilence, fire, earthquake, suffocation due to paperwork or any other act of Dorothy.
- Thou shalt not interrupt Dorothy’s working day, although thine may be interrupted at any time.
- Thou shalt meet all demands yesterday, despite not being in possession of the relevant information until tomorrow
- Thou shalt achieve the miraculous without complaint.
- Thou shalt not automatically assume the role of terrified victim when commands are left on the ansafone.
- Thou shalt automatically interpret stages 1-5 of an idea, despite being presented with the idea at stage 6
- Thou shalt constantly strive to develop thy psychic abilities to keep up with the level of mind reading required.
- Thou shalt communicate the entire contents of Dorothy’s idea to all staff involved whilst being in posession of only 5% of the whole.
- Thou art not allowed to have a nervous breakdown without prior notification in triplicate.
- Thou shalt tactfully ignore Dorothy’s assertion that Thou hast been asked for information when in reality Thou has not. Thou shalt resourcefully create a solution, and when in doubt call a meeting.
- Thou art required to photocopy every single piece of paper that Thou intendeth to pass to Dorothy, so that when it is ‘special filed’ Thou canst instantly provide the said information when it is demanded. (This simple precaution shalt prevent unnecessary scrabbling in bins).
- Thou shalt understand the brilliance of Dorothy’s mind, the speed of her thoughts and forgive her memory distortion when she ‘remembers’ a conversation.
- Thou shalt always remember that thy job description includes the clause ‘And any duties deemed necessary by Dorothy’.
From the loyal, devoted, knackered and affectionate serfs.
Just for something to think about, think of the things you appreciate in yourself at work, or at home, or qualities that you have that you feel good about. It can be something quite simple. You can do this by yourself or alternatively, pair up with another person and tell them about how you are and what you do that you appreciate and like about yourself. MAKE SURE THAT YOU STICK WITH THE POSITIVE. Things for you to think about:-
- It is very easy for people to move straight on to the things they don’t like about themselves. It’s very British to deny one’s attributes, for example.
- A lot of people were not encouraged to feel or know good things about themselves,
- Appreciating ourselves IS NOT blowing our own trumpet, or bragging.
Work can be DIFFICULT and PRESSURED! Take control of your life! How to do it is in my book. Download chapter 1 free now or get the whole book with its download tracks to your unconscious mind of how to feel better!