Do YOU feel social pressure?

Do YOU feel social pressure?  Following on from the last post, there is so much social pressure to grow up, marry and have a family.  My accountant said that to me one day – there had been much pressure to the point of marriage and as soon as the wedding day was over he and his new wife were virtually ignored!

We don’t have much training in anything to do with relationships, person to person, or parent to child, if any.  Only when things go wrong, do we get any help and then it’s usually in the form of telling us what we SHOULD be doing.  The implication is that we are ‘last’, awful, must do better, are a failure, and so on.  You may well’ve had that happen! For instance, being a parent for example, is a big commitment – 24 hours a day, for 18 years without much help from society.  Being a worker in any job is a lifetime’s occupation for most of us.      (See the “Gospel according to St. Dorothy” below.  I hope it makes you smile!). Considering all this and the day to day trials and tribulations of work and family life, we are all doing incredibly well. Above all, right now, we are doing the best we know how.  We all deserve a big pat on the back for all our good work we have done, and length of service we have done it over.

Usually this is unacknowledged. You may feel uncomfortable with this process of appreciation.  It is normal to feel somewhat embarrassed and uncomfortable at appreciating ourselves and being appreciated by others, and it is OK to giggle or get a little hot around the collar.  This is a normal process of releasing ourselves from the feeling that we are not good enough. I found the following in an office near Blackburn Lancashire.  It made me smile so I asked permission to reproduce it.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SAINT DOROTHY

  1. Thou shalt be at thy desk at 8.58 a.m. precisely.
  2. Thou shalt not move from thy designated area of labour during the “working day” despite flood, war,  famine, pestilence, fire, earthquake, suffocation due to  paperwork or any other act of Dorothy.
  3. Thou shalt not interrupt Dorothy’s working day, although thine may be interrupted at any time.
  4. Thou shalt meet all demands yesterday, despite not being in possession of the relevant information until tomorrow
  5. Thou shalt achieve the miraculous without complaint.
  6. Thou shalt not automatically assume the role of terrified victim when commands are left on the ansafone.
  7. Thou shalt automatically interpret stages 1-5 of an idea, despite being presented with the idea at stage 6
  8.  Thou shalt constantly strive to develop thy psychic abilities to keep up with the level of mind reading required.
  9. Thou shalt communicate the entire contents of Dorothy’s idea to all staff involved whilst being in posession of only 5% of the whole.
  10. Thou art not allowed to have a nervous breakdown without prior notification in triplicate.
  11. Thou shalt tactfully ignore Dorothy’s assertion that Thou hast been asked for information when in  reality Thou has not.  Thou shalt resourcefully create a solution, and when in doubt call a meeting.
  12. Thou art required to photocopy every single piece of paper that Thou intendeth to pass to Dorothy, so that when it is ‘special filed’ Thou canst instantly provide the said  information when it is demanded. (This simple precaution shalt prevent unnecessary scrabbling in bins).
  13. Thou shalt understand the brilliance of Dorothy’s mind, the speed of her thoughts and forgive her memory distortion when she ‘remembers’ a conversation.
  14. Thou shalt always remember that thy job description includes the clause ‘And any duties deemed necessary by Dorothy’.

From the loyal, devoted, knackered and affectionate serfs.

Just for something to think about, think of the things you appreciate in yourself at work, or at home, or qualities that you have that you feel good about. It can be something quite simple.  You can do this by yourself or alternatively, pair up with another person and tell them about how you are and what you do that you appreciate and like about yourself.  MAKE SURE THAT YOU STICK WITH THE POSITIVE. Things for you to think about:-

  • It is very easy for people to move straight on to the things they don’t like about themselves.  It’s very British to deny one’s attributes, for example.
  •  A lot of people were not encouraged to feel or know good things about themselves,
  • Appreciating ourselves IS NOT blowing our own trumpet, or bragging.

Work can be DIFFICULT and PRESSURED!  Take control of your life!  How to do it is in my book.  Download chapter 1 free now or get the whole book with its download tracks to your unconscious mind of how to feel better!

Pressure on us!

There is a lot of pressure to get, and keep a job. There is constant political uncertainty.  Since long reign of Margaret Thatcher, a rule of fear seems to have been started from the Prime Minister downwards. Both choice of job and job security are things of the past.

There is a lot of social pressure on people to marry and have a family. When you marry, the limelight is on you until you start to produce offspring. Then it often gets turned off.

We don’t have much training in anything to do with relationships, person to person, or parent to child, if any.

Only when things go wrong, do we get any help and then it’s usually in the form of telling us what we SHOULD be doing.

Being a parent has its own pressure and is a big commitment – 24 hours a day, for 18 years without much help from society.

Considering all this and the day to day trials and tribulations of work and family life, we are all doing incredibly well.

Above all, right now, we are doing the best we know how.

We all deserve a big pat on the back for all our good work we have done, and length of service we have done it over.

If something in your life is not right, do it differently.  Get my award-winning book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Sucessful Living” which is full of tips on how to improve life and feel GOOD about yourself!  Download Chapter 1 free NOW!

Make yourself happy

It can be hard to make yourself happy and hold your tongue and smile, even when people interrupt and contradict you or tread on your toes.  People can be difficult, can’t they!

Happy are you if you know how to hold your tongue and smile, even when people interrupt and contradict you or tread on your toes.

Joseph Folliet (1903 – 1972)

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

People arguing

Ways of dealing with both difficult people and personal interaction also are in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”.  Please go to the home page and sign up for your free download of chapter 1 … What have you to lose?

There are helpful free downloads at: sue@suewashington.com

www.cringedump.com. will help you get rid of feelings and memories that you would rather not have …

Don’t worry!

Thou shalt not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

Thou shalt not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

Thou shalt not cross bridges before you get to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.

Thou shalt face each problem as it comes. You can handle only one at a time anyway.

Thou shalt not take problems to bed with you for they make very poor bedfellows.

Thou shalt not borrow other people`s problems. They can take better care of them than you can.

Thou shalt not try to relive yesterday for good or ill-it is gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life today.

Thou shalt count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.

Thou shalt be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It`s very hard to learn something new when you`re talking.

Thou shalt not become bogged down by frustration, for 90 percent of it is rooted in self-pity, and it will only interfere with positive action.

Elodie Armstrong (1898-1994)

About confidence …

About confidence

The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld 1613 – 1680

“Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living” has a track in it called “The Sound of Calm”.  This will help your unconscious mind build up your confidence through hypnotic suggestion.  Chapter 1 of the book is free to you and can be downloaded NOW!

Part of the sound of Calm script tells your unconscious mind:

“And as you become …. and as you stay …. much more calm … .and so very much more relaxed … so you will develop … much more confidence …. in yourself …. much more confidence …. in your ability …. to do not only what you have to do each day but also much more confidence in your ability to do all those things that you know you ought to be able to do … knowing that you can do those things …. knowing that you have control of yourself …. knowing that you can change the world …. all that is important is NOW; and the breath that you take….NOW

 

And because of this …. every day …. you will feel more and more independent …. more able to stick up for yourself …. to stand upon your own two feet …. and to hold your own in any circumstances …”

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A novelist’s thoughts about how we carry past guilt…

A novelist’s thoughts about how we carry past guilt … 7198332-man-crouching-with-hands-over-face

But if something hurts me, the hurt I suffered back then comes to me, and when I feel guilty the feelings of guilt return; if I yearn for something today or if I feel homesick, I feel the yearnings and homesickness from back then.  The geological layers of our lives rest so tightly one on top of the other that we always come up against earlier events in later ones, not as a matter that has been fully formed and pushed aside but absolutely present and alive. I understand this. Nevertheless I sometimes find it hard to bear.

Bernard Schlink in ‘The Reader’.

It is perfectly possible to get rid of past ‘ghosts’ and bogeys that hurt us … the ‘Peace of Mind’ programme would be an excellent start to this process.  My old friend the late Dr John Hartland, doctor and writer said that when he was a young doctor in psychiatric outpatients, 60% would be helped by learning to become more calm and relaxed and made a hypnotic script to help.  A development of this as a recorded script is in the ‘Peace of Mind’ programme.  Take control and give it a whirl!  You can download chapter 1 free … A way of dumping unwanted feelings can be found at www.cringedump.com.

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A view on the price of charity?

Re charity: is this (to be possibly taken for a fool) the price of charity?

Happy are you if you can be kind in understanding the attitudes of others even when the signs are unfavourable; you may be taken for a fool but this is the price of charity.

Joseph Folliet, d. 1972

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You will have SO MUCH MORE understanding of human behaviour and how to get the best out of yourself and others by downloading Chapter 1 of Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living” right now.  Just for signing in with your e-mail address you can get it FREE!!

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