Making life hard for yourself by labelling?

Are you making life hard for yourself by labelling?

Yesterday I spoke to someone who has had a tendency to overweight all her life.   She had reduced her weight from over 15 stones to just below 10 stones, was feeling really good about herself and had a new boyfriend.   She DOES like her food however (don’t we all!) and her weight was beginning to creep up again.  She sounded plaintive on the telephone to me yesterday as she said “It’s a life sentence” …

I thought overnight how unhelpful her labelling was.  How much more creative it would be if she said “My new way of eating really helps me feel good when I take my clothes off in front of John …”

SIMPLE and DESCRIPTIVE in simple words is by far the best policy.  I spoke to her again this morning. I know she will give that new labelling a whirl!

The “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living” book will help you with ‘labelling’ issues.  The ‘Sound of Calm’ meditation track will show you how to programme yourself to shed excessive weight.  TAKE CONTROL of your life!  Download chapter 1 free now or sign up for the whole book and recorded tracks NOW!


Roles we are in as people …

Roles we are in as people …This is about styles of being a person

I hope that as you think about this post you can get yourself away from the need to try and be “good” at everything. I want it also that you can highlight in your own mind, the risks inherent in trying to be “good”.  “Good enough” is just what it says and is a marvellous concept!  Keep in your mind that our role changes as things around us change.

To set yourself off, think of some of the commonly held views of what a good person, or parent, or worker, boy or girlfriend, partner, colleague and so on should be like?

How do you think some people – professionals, neighbours, older people – may judge others as workers, or parents?

What expectations do you have of yourselves at work? Are your expectations realistic?

What pressures if any do you feel under from other people on how you are as a person?  How do you feel about such pressures and what effect do they have on how you behave at work?  If you were freed from any expectations or pressure to be perfect, what sort of person would you like to be?  How would you behave at work and in the family? If you changed, in what ways might you be different from how you are now?

What are the roles or jobs we need to take on as workers, and how do you think these change as the job changes?

Are there roles that you are still taking on even though people around you could now take more responsibility for themselves?

Some points to think about …

  1. Society has changed over the decades, no longer “authoritarian”, nor “permissive”, so what are our expectations of ourselves as workers and in the family?  What are society’s pressures on us?  There are a lot of social pressures on people to achieve. Family, friends, neighbours, doctors & teachers play their part by questioning us as parents & people to the stages we are at, & what our children have reached & how they are behaving.
  2.  As a result, it is easy to see external things as reflecting our competence as people.  This can lead us to behave in uncharacteristic ways at work, and in our families to direct they children so that they “turn out right” to the point of robbing them of responsibility for themselves.

This behaviour as co-workers and parents is well intentioned and yet it holds many risks:

  •  Doing everything for others prevents them from learning to do things for themselves, & makes us feel exhausted.
  •  Protecting others prevents them from learning from their own experiences
  •  Taking responsibility for others prevents them from developing their self-confidence.
  • Controlling our children all the time breeds rebellion & discourages initiative.
  • Feeling sorry for others leads them to feel inadequate & at worst self-pitying….

The ‘Sound of Calm’ track in the Peace of Mind book will help you feel better and step-by-step suggestions on living your life (and letting other people live theirs) will lift a weight off your shoulders.  Download part 1 now FREE or sign up for the whole book as recorded tracks to take control of your life NOW!


My precious darling grand-daughter: the power of prayer?

My precious darling grand-daughter, Emma, is three in August.  Past my bed-time last night I had a call from her daddy.  She had had 3 fits and was being dashed into hospital.

Looking back now I think I must be hyperactive or something as I HAD TO DO SOMETHING – but what?  They were miles away and going there I would have been in the way … I decided to call reinforcements and sent a text to other family members, and people I knew who would be bold enough to pray for her.  Many many texts came back from people already on their prayer mats.  I was so very grateful.

Doctors said she had a virus.  Today she is at home and her mummy is sleeping next to her on the floor.  She is, apparently, much better in herself.

We will never know who did what or what effect the praying had will we.  I just know that it says in the bible ‘ask and you shall be given’ or words to that effect.

Never underestimate the power of prayer! Prayer and positive thinking are marvellous things.  Learning to ask for what you want, visualising what you want instead of what you DON’T want is all in the book.  Sign up and download NOW!



Shocking news about a teenage suicide!

My girlfriend Sue wrote me an e-mail this morning with shocking news!.  I have sent it to you as written …

“Off to Ireland  for a few days peace and quiet!  … Keep a friend of mine in your thoughts. She found her 15 yr old daughter hanging dead in her bedroom last week. No warning or note. Puts the rest of our problems in perspective …”

If suicide is in your mind DON’T DO IT!!  Call me. Call a friend. Call Samaritans. Who is to say that whatever waits for us beyond (if anything) is any better than here for one thing?  Then someone has to find you.  My practice life has found many people scarred from finding a loved one has taken his or her own life … I remember when I was in my 20s and feeling desperate (from, when I look back, self-inflicted woes).  An older woman put me off suicide by telling me, with some authority, that if one killed oneself one was sent BACK to ‘do it again’ – that patch of life I guess … I remember thinking ‘no’. I’ve done 25 years – I will hang on in there and wait … Who knows.  She may have been right. At least she made me pause and not act. Boy oh boy I’m so glad I did.  My days are JOYFUL now! Do not allow yourself to get as far as despair.  Sometimes it can be difficult to own up to your feelings and talk. Download chapter 1 of my book free now: “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”.  Exploring how you feel is in chapter 1.  How to disclose how you feel comes a little later.  You can take the whole book NOW.  It will teach you how to feel better.  My voice will tell you how to rid yourself of unwanted feelings in ‘The Magic Garden’ track.  Also go to ‘Free Bucket of Cringes’ &