Feeling better 1

Feeling better

Consider giving yourself these gifts for a few weeks, and see how that makes you feel.

 Be kind to yourself. 

This can take many forms.  Basically it involves allowing yourself the latitude to make mistakes, or taking time out from your routine or responsibilities, or doing for yourself any of the many little things you find so easy to do for those you love.  Eric Berne spoke of this in terms of ’strokes’.  A stroke is a unit of attention, and can be positive or negative.  A positive stroke is an expression of approval, such as a smile, a kind word, or a loving touch, while a negative stroke is the opposite – an expression of disapproval – an angry frown, a sharp word, or physical violence.  Everyone needs strokes of one kind or another, and negative strokes are better than no strokes at all. Often as adults, our task is to stroke others, and we use so much energy doing this that we pay no attention to our own needs.  We need strokes as much as anyone else does.  There are two ways we can get the strokes we need – by giving them to ourselves and by getting them from others.

 Stroking Ourselves:

This simply means allowing ourselves the things we like in life, giving ourselves the treats that make us feel special, wearing the clothes that make us feel good, and generally allowing ourselves the time and space we deserve.

Getting Strokes from Others:

 This depends very much on effective communication.  We often assume that people can read our minds, and know what we want and what we like without being told.  Getting strokes from others depends on how good we are at letting them know what we want.

 

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