Have you a little self-critical voice in your head? Are you your own worst critic? So, let us assume that we choose to begin looking at our lives in Davies’ perhaps unusual way (published a couple of posts ago) and that we want to listen to that little voice and respond to the feeling inside. What can we do? How can we begin to free ourselves from the voices of others telling us what to do, or how to live our lives?
Self Acceptance When we were children, and something went wrong, our natural response would have been to wonder what we had done wrong. This would have been true no matter what the situation. If our parents had a fight, we would have felt responsible. We may have felt that the fault was because of something we did, or perhaps even just because we were ‘there’.
If the event or events for which we felt responsible was traumatic enough – if it had serious consequences, it may have become necessary to ‘punish’ ourselves (subconsciously) in the hope that things would go back to the way they were before. At the very least we would have scolded ourselves for our bad behaviour, and this would have built into a pattern that we carried through to adulthood. As adults we continue to scold our child, and we can hear this if we listen to the number of times we send ourselves the negative messages that reinforce our poor sense of self – Ellis’ sentences that we repeat to ourselves over and over.
Responding to these negative messages is like responding to one of those radio signals scientists sent into space many years ago to make contact with intelligent life ‘out there’. The source of the radio signals is no more ‘alive’ today than the messages we give ourselves. The signals relate to a different time and a different reality, and all that makes them relevant to the present time is the fact that it is our child within that is responding. If we use our adult creative intelligence to begin to see what we are doing and to understand the patterns of behaviour that hold us captive, we can accept those parts of ourselves that we previously rejected, and we can bring ourselves more into the present reality.
There are many things that will help you in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”. Download chapter 1 free now!