How To Heal Deep Emotional Scars
Many people suffer from the past of what their parents did to them, the negative events of their childhood etc. The purpose of this article is to present the reason why it is hard to release the past & end the perpetual limitations and suffering.
The first step is to see where the problem really lies. The pain is always related to the thought that these things happened to ME! Because of this view, we cannot let go of the past and these memories trigger painful feelings.
I have found that the problem is not really related to the events we attribute it to, but rather it is the need of recognition: acknowledgement. There is much about this in the free download of Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living. Download part 1 free NOW!
Everyone needs to be recognised, to be acknowledged of course. This is common to all humans of any age starting from the ‘terrible two’s’. Acknowledgement was, fundamentally, what my granddaughter wanted in http://www.peaceofmindwithsue.com/do-people-tell-you-what-to-do in the blog a few entries ago. This need brings with it the perception that you are the centre of the universe and all things you are involved in somehow have a special reason to happen just for you.
You may believe that your parents treated you the way they did because of what you did, or your parents divorced because of you, or the meteor fell to earth and crushed your new car all because God hates you and He has very good aim.
The problem of course, and why we cannot let go of these painful feelings, is that it is not really about you, it really has nothing to do with you personally. With the ego centred view, we look in the wrong place for the problem and thus keep missing the target of healing.
When we stop thinking that we are the centre of the universe and realise that nothing that happened to us actually has anything at all to do with us personally, we can be free.
This is relinquishing the ego. We must see the world for what it is, a series of random events that each person or thing is responding to, and these reactions will effect anything in the near vicinity…
A tree will fall in a strong wind. The tree did not decide to fall on your car. The tree was responding to the strong wind which blew it down, and it just happened that your car was parked beside the tree on the downwind side. The tree was blown over in that direction and your car was parked in the spot that the tree fell when it responded to the wind. It had nothing to do with you or your car.
Likewise, a child goes through tremendous emotional distortions due to the actions of their parents who are just responding to the demands and trials of life that adults face. All people, especially parents, sometimes snap or do things out of the stress, which then effects the children since they happen to be in the same house and family.
People respond to current situations due to the events of their past. The past events continue to effect people through their whole life because they feel the events were meant for them, directed at them. If we see the events that touched us as random in this way, we no longer have the ego centred view. Rather, with this objective view, the event loses all long term emotional impact.