Here is some more for you to think about regarding ‘good enough’. If we do not particularly want or need to do a certain thing, our ‘failure’ to ‘achieve’ in that area becomes a choice, and not a failure. There is therefore no point wasting time thinking critical thoughts about ourselves.
The destructive habit of self-criticism is usually internalised at an early age, and is seldom updated to reflect an attitude consistent with our adult lifestyles. The idea of free choice and the Moment of Choice is one to remember. We internalised many of the ideas we have about ourselves at a time when it was necessary for our survival. Doing so was GOOD ENOUGH for that time. This is a different time, and we can change our attitudes accordingly. We can once again do the best that we know how at this time. We can begin to be gentle with ourselves. We can stop judging ourselves by the standards of others. Please go back to the ‘lines’ exercise and see if you can expand your list.
Remember also that the standard set by yourself as being GOOD ENOUGH can vary to cover different periods of your life. This can be enormously releasing. As we get older, we have not got our earlier physical prowess. A mother who provides regular meals for her growing family may opt not to do that to the same extent forever. A wage earner may not always have to / want to or need to earn at the same rate forever. It is really OK for the GOOD ENOUGH levels to be regularly fluctuating.
The opposite of criticism is praise. To counteract the effects of self-criticism we can work on praising ourselves – when we do something ‘good enough’, we can allow ourselves to experience a sense of satisfaction, and we can praise ourselves. Another pleasant thing to do is to accept the compliments given by others without a ‘yes but’ response. We may be surprised at how often people express their appreciation of us – appreciation that we often disallow due to a false sense of humility.
There are many things that will help you in Sue’s book “Peace of Mind – Pathways to Successful Living”. Download chapter 1 free now!